I Knew...
60
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I felt that I had been there before. The lights were dim; the music on the record-player was soft and offbeat. Nina Simone was telling us, as only she can, that ‘It might as well be Spring’. Of course, I had been in there before, many times, but it was more like returning to a place in time, returning to something that happened long ago.
Maybe you know what I mean. When you walk into a strange room, but it isn’t unfamiliar. And you say to yourself, “I’ve been here before, and what I am doing now, I have done before.” And then it goes, and you can’t remember what comes next, although you try to drag it up out of the grey nothingness, but it won’t return. There is a term that I have heard: Déjà vu. But that isn’t what I’m talking about. Déjà vu is some sense of familiarity that many people experience… but it’s nothing more than that. It’s brief, it’s more a feeling that the person has been in a particular unfamiliar setting, but little more.
That is the way my whole life has been, the only difference is that I do know what comes next. My mind gives up its secrets, and I know when a certain person will arrive, and I know when a chair will be knocked over, and I know.
I know, and I hate myself for it. I can’t get away from it, no matter how hard I try. At a dance or a party, this thing takes me in its soft hands and moves me to one part of the room where something will happen, and I can’t stop it. I have to stand and watch and not try to prevent it. I have to because I am not brave enough to intervene… because something may happen to me.
There I stand like an all seeing hat stand, able to look into what is about to happen, but unable to lift a finger to prevent it. Or without the guts to try.
Sometimes the thing lifts from me, and my mind is at peace. I find that when this thing isn’t around, I am living and thinking and experiencing the now. Just like everybody around me, and it is so peaceful. That was how it was in the coffee lounge that night. That was how it was until they came in.
There were only two of them; unless you want to count the dog. They both wore casual clothes; jeans and big, floppy sweaters, and their hair was thick and dark; falling over their foreheads. As they came in, I noticed that they looked very much like brothers. One of them carried the dog under his left arm. It was a lovely looking animal, a light tan mongrel, but one of those mongrels that look as if they should be a definite type. It was a dog that looked as if it was meant to have a pedigree.
The two young men found a table and sat down. The one with the dog placed it on the ground by his feet. It unwound itself and looked up at its master with love in its eyes; a hand instinctively went down and fondled its ears. There was a bond of friendship that would have been impossible to break between the two of them.
The dog suddenly decided to explore its surroundings, and looked around him. He saw mc and I clicked my fingers. He understood, and came to my table; sat beside my chair, and rested his muzzle on my knee. I felt the warmth of it through the thick corduroy. As I stroked his smooth head, through the hum of conversation I heard the thump of his tail. His soft brown eyes looked into my face as I murmured to him... warm, meaningless sound, that’s all.
Soon the urge to explore seized him again, and he left me to move from table to table as different people called him. As time passed, his excitement mounted as the puppy in him came to the surface.
He rushed about the room; then darted out through the open door into the dark street.
A cold wave broke over me… I started to rise from my chair.
Then I knew. .
I sat back in my seat…waited. I tried desperately to listen to the music. Dakota Staton was singing ‘The Late, Late Show’ with all her heart, but she couldn’t distract my mind and thoughts.
I knew what would happen…
There would be the screech of brakes,
the horribly drawn out, agonized yelp,
then…
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There are very many theories. Who knows? Thanks for stopping by and reading what I had to offer. I hope you enjoyed what you read.
Twilight, this is a subject close to my heart. When I was younger, I had the "I knew/I know" feeling as well. I seem to have lost that quality now. I do believe humans have senses beyond the five we know of, may be more than a sixth sense or extrasensory perception as it is called.
Perhaps, we can tap into something that enables us to know beyond what we should know - the ability to look into the future in other words.
Reincarnation intrigues me as well. I wrote a not-too-refined hub about death and reincarnation. Here it is,
http://hubpages.com/hub/Is-death-the-true-end-of-a
It is by no means a comprehensive hub on the subject. I hope to cover the subject in depth at some point in the future.
For me, one of the many joys of living is to reflect on questions such as these. Thanks for sharing this very interesting hub, Twilight - as always, a pleasure to read :)
Thank you, Shil. I'll read it. I always love the way you present your facts and findings.
By the way, I was skipping around like a happy schoolboy/schoolgirl last night, having read your amazingly kind comments concerning my writing abilities. My face was burning... I thought people didn't blush when they were alone.
Thank you.
Ever the story teller. You have a way about you, "Je ne sais pas" The most unusual thing just happened this moment. A sequence of events so strange and unexpected, yet "you knew." My story on Maya Angelou written late last night, woke you this morning in the dawn of day to a sense of calm.
Knowing or unknowingly, returning the favor, I clicked your Hubs and selected "I Knew..." even though I didn't. Your words flow like the river leading us on. I sense of shock at the sad ending. Feeling why Twilight is drawn to read my frightening and scary thoughts about the world.
Wanting to speak those words in French, but not knowing how to spell them, I went to Translate Google and Freakishly, as if the computer could read my mind, "English" to "French" appeared without my input. That was the icing on the cake to today's paranormal experiential readings. Time for other things today, but I really don't have an inkling what will happen next. (HUGS) Debby
Thanks for those really lovely and interesting comments, Debby. I wondered what happened when i looked any my comment on tour hub didn't appear. But obviously the HP gremlins wanted us to have a real chat. I appreciate you reading my hubs... You were one of the first, and wrote some embarrassingly complementary (for me) comments. I really feel that I must "try harder" (Can you hear me in a former life, as a school teacher?) to keep up the standard. Big hug to you too.
I too, was a school teacher, now administrator of an entire network, and really continue to teach how to blog better and live better. I do adore your writing style.
I know Debby; I read your hubs with interest. Even things that have been, up till now, beyond my sphere. Your writing style is very easy to understand. "Once a pedagogue, always a pedagogue" as they say. And thank you for your great comment... I think I can live with "adore".
Your writing is very creative and entertaining. I, too, have experienced Deja Vu several times, and feel it is just a remembering of myself in another sphere and time.
Thank you Elayne for taking the time to read my stuff; and thanks also for your kind complement. Much appreciated!
Well written - i know deja vu and feel that it is really that you have been in a similar siituation, but this is not deja vu - this seems to be more something extra sensory that you have. is this story fact or fiction? i can't really tell. Well written.
Thanks, Donna, for reading it and thanks for trying to decide whether it is fact or fiction. There is an element of both in there, but the incidents themselves were completely fictional. It must work with you if you have to stand back and look. I appreciate you taking the time to read it and your positive comments. Thank you
My question was the same as Donnas...is this your reality or fiction. I find this subject a little fascinating myself...I've had it happen to me a couple of times. Usually only a word or perhaps a phrase...but once, the whole conversation and scene played out in my head only moments before it happened in reality. Very interesting to say the least! Well written my friend...well written.
Angie, it was a fabrication based on the way I used to experience things. I wrote this many years ago; fleshed it out and posted it on HP. There is more than an element of truth in the way I experienced situations, but I am glad to say that the dog incident was pure fabrication. I'm so glad you're coming back and reading my scribblings. Thank you.
I never left darling...I just didn't have the energy to be creative for awhile I'm afraid. It's only just beginning to clear a bit! But I have been reading, and voting UP! :)
Aw, you killed the dog! A tricky way to jerk a tear from me. But really, you created such a complete scene with an extreme economy of words...a talent I envy and admire.
Gosh, I just saw how many things you've posted in the last two weeks. You've been busy! I had a very busy week, and will get caught up this week. Well done!
I haven't really been busy, Chris. The last three were written for my College magazine when I was about twenty-one. I just reworked them slightly. Thanks for you brilliant assessment. I really do appreciate your comments.
And on the dog issue? I think you know how I love dogs... broke my heart too.
Thank you, Angie, I really do appreciate that. I, on the contrary, haven't stopped scribbling for weeks. I blame HP and Chris Reilly and people like you for the encouragement I have been given... I was going to make a list, but didn't want to leave someone out.
So what you're saying basically is this...we've created the monster, now it is our obligation to feed it? Oh my...Teasing of course. It's easy to encourage when someone writes well. I for one am not very good at flattery just for the sake of flattery. I really do like the way you write. I am able to picture in my head the things you write...to me, that is a good story. The kind that make me sad when it is over as I feel like I'm losing friends, or missing out on something. That is the type of writing you do...you draw people in and make them "feel" what you're telling. Talent.
I can feel the colour rising from my collar to the very top of me. That was so lovely to read. Thank you. I feel the same thing about reading a story, but to be told that I can produce that makes it all worthwhile. Blush!!!
Phew. I'm glad you mentioned in previous comments it was a story, not factual. Dogs must never get hurt in stories... please. Even if they are only distantly related to a Norbury Mudhound.
Nice story Twilight, and mostly words I knew the meaning of, which is a big plus point.
Thanks Mark. I look forward to reading your comments; my tummy muscles always get a good workout with suppressed laughter. Glad you liked (!) it. Try some of my more recent scribbles. Picasso had his "blue" period... I have my "Alzheimer's" period.
I do have 'Old Timer's' disease too. I had to scroll down a long way to get to the comments section and now that I am here I have forgotten your story. (no offence intended). I just wish 'I knew' what it was all about.
Seriously, good story, I enjoyed it...I think!
Thanks for the comment, and thanks for making me laugh. Clever person, Mark. I like that.
You have a poet's perspective, TW. You reduce the reader to a moment, and circle, circle, before hitting the target. Great short stories and poems have this in common: they don't allow anyone out of a small room once they're in. I couldn't stop reading this one if I tried. Nice work.
Thanks Shogan. I appreciate constructive criticism. That is a great comment. And the "poet's perspective" makes me happier still.
Got me at the end! Thinking there would be some drama with the young men. Dogs are better companions anyway. Ha!
Thanks Sally, for dropping by and taking the time to read it. You are always welcome. Come again, soon.
Fascinating. What a relief to learn in the comments that it was a fabrication and no dog was killed. Whew! It is no less fascinating a read, though. Excellent. . . .
Nellie, I adore dogs, as you may have read already, and I found the story wrote itself, as many of my stories do, and I could feel it pulling me towards the demise of little Fido. When I read it years after I had written the original, I really was choked.
I wonder how i would have treated the story if I had written it from blank... Hmm.
Thank you so very much for looking at my stuff. I am so grateful that you are ploughing through it all... as you seem to be.
Reading your stuff is a delight. No ploughing. I am not a masochist, especially when it comes to reading, which is a great pleasure for me, and I honestly have eye issues, so I choose wisely. I am not a speed reader. In fact I love to wallow in it - go back and re-read portions, etc. I would love to read all your hubs, but that is not a task I've set myself. So not to worry. I enjoy your versatility and yourSELF that seems to be in your work. Very refreshing.
Like you, I write mostly what pours forth, rather than from deliberate effort. It amazes me when people set out to write, unless it's a business letter or technical write-up of some sort.
Hugs, Nellieanna
I, also, am one of the slowest readers ever. In consequence, I am very selective, because I know I am going to take forever. Having said that, I really know the story or novel when I am finished... whereas others who skim successfully, only get the gist.
It may sound arrogant, but some things I have written, poetry especially, have just flowed out and haven't needed to be tweaked. I am writing something now, however, that is taking forever, and I don't know when (or if) I will ever finish it.
Dear Ian,
I guess I am still exploring and finding things I have not read. :)The story is one you hope to never to experience but I enjoyed it very much. Thank you.
Hugs
Sunnie
Chilling hand around your heart, eh Sunnie? Poor little doggie. An absolute fabrication, I am happy to disclose. You know me and dogs!
What a nice simple observational piece. We've all had that feeling many times where we flick through our past but just can't connect up the dots. I suppose i'm flicking through your past with this hub. Dug up from the depths of your normally barren back catalogue.
It's like visiting a cemetery in some ways as hubpages is usually so 'today', for all of us. Cheers
I feel it's a cemetery at times, Keith. You certainly have a way with words. That is why your humour is so captivating... I go along with it and suddenly I find I am being dragged in the opposite direction and then I find I am laughing out loud(ly).
I think I wrote this when I was in my early twenties!
Thanks for coming and nosing around.
Cemeteries can be interesting places, but unlike yours, one normally can't raise the dead.
I found out your real name, so...
Ian, I think this is a wonderfully written hub. Obviously, you were born to write, and I am not at all surprised that so many wonderful people/writers are your followers/readers.
Again, I am very glad I have started reading your writings. Thank you very much.
Thank you Nemanja. There are very few people who actually read my stuff, because I tend to leave large gaps between publishing hubs, but the people who do are exceptional, and I can guarantee that if you were to read their stories and poems etc., you would be really impressed.
I loved writing this, but it was for a college exercise when I was at Teachers' College years ago... but I think it has managed to survive the tests of time.
Thanks for the visit.
I'm "crashing" the party a bit late, but that only means so many more hubs to read :)
I love reading, and I am currently stuck in a new town without having yet joined the local library - that means HP takes place of books for now. Therefore, I'm always glad to find a writer I enjoy, and you are definitely one of them. I'll be checking out the others, as well.
If that is the case, I wish there were more gatecrashers on my little piece of Hub Pages.
Welcome, my friend, sit down, have a glass of whatever you like to drink, and have a good read.
Oh! You've already started.
Hope you like that one... it's a good vintage. The wine, I mean, not the book.
Seems you have learned to recognize your heart and soul, some don't even realize that there is a connection. You have learned to Trust the Word of One Who Knows and made a connection to the Source Field.
This is the Ascension, the evolution of our species . . .
Thank you for your visit, and to your comment:
Gosh!
I am going to have a look at your hubs and profile... I feel it's going to be a very interesting trip.
IntimatEvolution Level 3 Commenter 16 months ago
Some people believe Deja Vu is a tale tell sign of reincarnation. I'm not so sure, but, it does freak me out when it happens to me.